In Shades of Grey
by LadyJessmyn
Summary: Sometimes "Happily Ever After" isn't always black and white.
1. Chapter 1

iThis is my first attempt at writing a fan fic. Enjoy! Apecial thanks to Erynnar for the encouragement:)/i

Kasha Cousland sat at her desk in the study of Vigil's Keep. It was quiet, aside from the sounds of repair going on outside. The citizens of Amaranthine had been extremely generous in helping restore the damage inflicted during the darkspawn battle here. At the time, she had built up the keep as best she could, and against her companions protests, had stayed to defend Amaranthine, leaving The Vigil to stand on it's own. She had put her faith in the old building, and those that stayed to defend it. And she'd been rewarded.

She was going to miss it. She was going to miss them too. She had been unhappy when she arrived, that none of her companions from the blight had been able to join her. She had left Denerim in such a rush, she couldn't even bring her faithful Mabari, Lethallin, although Ohgren was about as protective and loyal...even drunk. Leliana had been off researching Broodmothers, ironically that could have been done better if she'd been in Amaranthine. Zev was helping to train recruits back in Denerim, Sten and Morrigan had both left, and Shale was off to discover her Dwarven mortality. Then there was Alistair. He had been in the Bannorn when she left, Eamon had sent word at her request and taken over for them in their absence. At least she had gotten to see him when she arrived. She grinned as she remembered his goodbye at the Vigil's gate. A whisper in her ear, about lampposts in winter, accompanied by a gently nibble.

"And what may I ask are you so amused by commander?"

Kasha jumped at Nathaniel's voice, and laughed.

"First of all, I have told you to call me Kasha, we are far beyond formalities considering our history.  
Not My Lady, not commander, and not Your Majesty...simply Kasha"

Nathaniel smiled and replied "As you wish...Kasha"

It still awed her that they had become such good friends. The history between them ran deep and dark. It was his father that had ordered the attack at Highever. After several failed attempts to grasp at the Cousland's power through marriage, first trying to get Fergus to marry Delilah, then Kasha to marry Thomas, he had finally aligned himself with the other Teyrn in Ferelden, Loghain, and aided him in grasping the throne. Killing the Couslands, was the first step in securing it. Bryce could have easily taken it when Cailan fell. Eventually it was Kasha, who had killed Arl Rendon Howe, while rescuing Queen Anora.

She hadn't known there was another son off in the Free Marches. Until she arrived at The Vigil. He had arrived three days before her, to spring a trap and kill her to avenge his father. She'd found him in the dungeon, where she talked to him the first time. It had taken four guards to capture him. This impressed her, and she found herself remembering Daveth from her joining. He had robbed Duncan, with great ease and skill. When the Denerim guards caught him, Duncan conscripted him rather than see him punished. That's when Kasha shocked the Seneschal, and did the same withNathaniel.

It was rocky at first, Nathaniel was torn between blaming Kasha and the wardens for his fathers death and shame, and blaming himself for not being there. But, eventually, thanks to his sister, he had seen Rendon Howe for what he was, and he and Kasha became close friends. He even saved her brother from a bandit attack.

"Nate, I wanted to thank you for saving Fergus, as you know he is my only blood family left. There was an estate, owned by one of the nobles that had been involved in the conspiracy to kill me. It is yours now." When he started to speak she interrupted.

"No, I insist, you will not humble your way out of this. It's yours, and that's final. You may do what you wish with it, though I suspect that will be giving it to Delilah, in which case, I hope she enjoys it"

"You know me too well I see, as you wish." He said.

"I'm going back to Denerim, leaving within the hour in fact. I've already said my farewells to everyone. I'm leaving you in charge here. Keep Sigrun busy...I don't want her trying to sneak off to her calling early. Also, try to keep Oghren from driving her too crazy"

"Justice seems to keep him in line pretty well, I'll just make sure he stays between them" Nathaniel grinned.

Justice gave Oghren the creeps, being a walking corpse filled with a fade spirit, and he seemed to enjoy making the dwarf squeamish, often stretching the skin on his face when he'd catch Oghren staring. Oh, he played it off as innocent curiosity the first few times, but everyone had figured out that he'd found amusement in the dwarf's discomfort.

"Speaking of Oghren, he didn't take my leaving well, keep an eye on him. I've already finished proof reading his letters to Felsi this week. If you could do that for him, from now on I'd appreciate it. He does trust you"

"As you wish"

"As for you, please take care of yourself. No more sneaking into darkspawn infested estates to spring traps on Wardens" she teased, as he blushed "You have become a treasured friend Nate, if you ever have need of anything, you know where to reach me. I want to thank you, for everything you've done for me, and the wardens. You have become like a second brother to me, and I love you."

Nathaniel smiled, as he wiped a tear from her cheek, and pulled her into his strong arms for an embrace. "And I, you Kasha"

She couldn't see the look on Nathaniel's normally stoic face, and for that he was grateful. She'd become more than just a friend in his heart. But he knew she adored her husband, and he would never hurt her so much as to come between that.

Unfortunately, neither of them saw the dainty shadow in the hallway. The shadow of one that had no problem with hurting this human, who had taken the only person she'd ever loved, and left her to die or worse among the darkspawn. 


	2. Chapter 2

Kasha could see the gates of Denerim grow larger as she approached. She'd been waiting for this day for so very long. In her mind she saw the joyou reunion that would take place between husband and wife. There was a crowd amassed, and in front, she recognized the gleaming armor of the man she loved. She spurred her faitful steed, a black gelding named Shadow, into a gallop. As she reached him, she could see he was grinning broadly. He helped her down from her saddle, and swept her into a passionate kiss, much to the delight of the cheering crowd. They did love this couple, and their willingness to show affection publicly. Which always amused Kasha, who remembered how nervous Alistair was to kiss her in front of their cloest friends.

They spent some time mixing with the crowd, before the guards forced them to move on. They were seated in the carriage, and taken to the palace. Arl Eamon met them at the door.

"Greetings your majesty, and welcome home...if you don't mind I need Alist..."

Kasha interrupted, as she kept moving "Not now Eamon! I haven't seen my husband, nor my quarters, or even my DOG in far too long. You are going to have to handle things a bit longer. Unless someoe is bleeding profusely, set on fire, or being chased by an arch demon, we are not to be disturbed!"

Eamon could do nothing but stand there, mouth agape. Bryce had always called her his "Fierce girl" and she certainly was.

They reached their quarters, where Lethallin immediately tackled Kasha to the ground, and gave her a shower of slobbery kisses. As a puppy he had never learned to not nip in his enthusiastic licking, but at least he was gentle. Kasha was so busy giggling she didn't notice that as the door shut, Alitairs jovial mood disappeared.

Suddenly, he was sternly ordering Lethallin to leave the room. The mabari's entire body drooped, as he obeyed with a whimper and Alistair closed the door once again. Kasha's temper started to brew.

"Andraste's arse, what was that for? I realize you missed me, but did you have to hurt him that way?"

Alistair's face didn't change "We need to talk about this...Nathaniel" He almost spat the name.

"What about him? I told you all about him in my letters, that he is a friend, a brother, he saved my life on more than one occasion, and that of my brother recently."

"Yes, I know all of that. But do you embrace all of your friends and declare that you love them wife?" His tone was a sharp as a dagger, and as hurtful.

Kasha was fighting her rage. But she couldn't wipe the hurtful look of Lethallin from her mind, and she lost the battle. She shoved past Alistair to let the mabari back in. He immediately stood beside her, and growled deeply.

"Kasha, this is a serious matter, this is not the time to worry about the feelings of that hound"

When she turned back to Alistair the light was gone from her green eyes. They were flashing with anger, and her voice had turned to deadly steel.

"You will do well to remember love, that this dog and I are of one being. You hurt him, you hurt me. That was one strike. As for declaring my love to my friends, you never once objected when I did so with Leliana, or Wynne, maker's breath even Morrigan! The only one you worried about was Zev...Oh Andrastes flaming sword, you're jealous?" Kasha was indignant.

"Maybe I am, but that is beside the point. You are my wife. You are the queen, you cannot be involved in scandal!"

"Ohhhh, I'm the queen now. When did this happen exactly? Or did Anora finally give up the title? Or did you finally have the conniving, two faced, scrawny, backstabbing venomous snake executed? No? I thought not. I cannot believe this, where did you get this...information of yours husband?" Kasha Demanded

"A messenger brought me a note just before you arrived. It was unsigned"

"A note, an unsigned...note."

Anger was rushing in her ears now, she couldn't restrain it any longer. Suddenly everything was bursting forth.

"I have been fighting monsters, the likes of which you have never seen. Things that make the blight and arch demon look like a children's puppet show in the market district. I did it all, while half of my heart was here in your hands. When I finally return, you've heard a rumor and suddenly, I'm an untrustworthy cheating ****? And what of you? Have I ever questioned you? We both know how I survived that arch demon don't we? We know what you did with Morrigan. Yet never did I doubt you."

Lethallin was growling, louder now. He did not like his Lady's sad feelings, not one bit, he felt what she felt and this felt bad.

She had hit the mark, but she was far from done. The floodgates were open.

"After everything I have done for you, this is my thanks. This is my welcome home. I let you kill a woman's father in front of her. Something I swore I would never see done to another, not after...not after father. Why? Because you needed your revenge. You couldn't accept his surrender. He could have undergone the joining, and slain the arch demon to redeem himself and the order in one fell swoop, and avoided that ritual. But no, no, you would have walked out on all of us. You think I couldn't see it plain as day in your eyes? "

He started to speak again, but Kasha cut him off.

"I tortured myself for months after you told me about your birthright. Knowing you did not want to be king. Yet I knew you had to be. But did I let you, the man I love beyond all reason go it alone? No. I did not. I love you, so it was only fair that I share the responsibility with you. After all, I was groomed for this my entire life and you weren't. Everything I have ever done, every battle I have fought to survive, was because I love you."

Like a rain of arrows, every one had hit their mark. She was right. She had never doubted that they'd defeat the blight, never doubted he'd be a good king. Never doubted his love for her. Until now, and he had given her reason.

She went on, quieter now. Almost too quiet.

"Alistair, I have loved only you, with all of my heart. This message, was given to you, out of context. The only love declared between myself and Nathaniel was that of a sister to a brother. I'm sorry you doubt me. That you ever would, you of all people...I almost wish I'd have stayed gone." She said it in barely a whisper, as she took Lethallin and left the room.

He knew she was right, about everything. And he knew the look that hooded her eyes as she walked away. Emotionless, devoid of humanity. She had turned it all off. He'd only seen her that way once before, and that was when they had first met. He knew what it meant. It meant he had just broken the most important part of her.

She had already left the room. Maker help him if he didn't catch her before she left the palace. 


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you to all of you that have added this story! I'm honored:) And Thanks to Erynnar for my first reviews. I swear I'll get the hang of all of this eventually and start doing those too!_

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Velanna smirked as she watched the warden ride away. She'd found a vantage point near the stables where she wouldn't be seen. She was proud at this moment. That black haired little shem bitch had let the only person that loved her be taken by the vile darkspawn. She could have been cured, she could have been found had the shem allowed her the power Gray Wardens possessed. But no, she'd refused. Now she felt the pain too. So wrapped up in her conceit was the slim blonde elf, that she didn't realize she was being watched.

Of course, not many would know he was there. He was after all quite skilled. He was also happy to observe before he pounced. The elf was beautiful, this was certain. And arrogant to think noone had noticed her, he could see by her facial tattoo and attire, that she was Dalish. As such, her knowledge of human society would be limited. She wouldn't have realized that an elf walking into the palace district would draw attention. It was purely by chance he had seen her as she handed the guards a sealed letter. He was returning from The Pearl, when he'd found himself admiring the swaying hips in front of him, so he carefully followed.

That's when he saw her slip the letter to the guard, and scamper around to the stables. When he entered the palace, Alistair had already read it. He was just in time to see him crumple it and toss it aside before he stormed off to his study. He couldn't help but read it.

"_You think she is faithful and true? You are a fool. Ask her upon her return why she'd hold another in a lovers embrace. Ask her of her declaration of love. Ask her about Nathaniel."_

He still did not understand why his friend and king would believe such a thing. Alas, there was no time to get to him before he had gotten to her. He had failed her, he could have protected her from this. Protected them. But he would make up for it.

Velanna didn't know she wasn't alone until the blade was at her throat.

"Ahhh such trouble from such a beautiful creature. A shame really, I do hate to waste such...wonderful charms, alas, sometimes one must kill the messenger. No?"

She couldn't struggle or her throat would be slit, she couldn't cast a spell...not in a shem city. That would be as dangerous as the dagger at her throat. "Who are you?" she hissed.

"Oh, so sorry. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Zevran Arainai. Zev to my friends...of which you are not one, by the way. However, that gorgeous Gray Warden is, and as you have much to do with her leaving...You have some explaining to do."

"I will explain nothing to you _shem_!" she spat, almost as much venom dripping from her tongue as was dripping from Zev's blade. All she was rewarded with was a wicked laugh before the pommel of the other dagger rendered her unconscious.

When she awoke, she found herself bound to a chair, in what appeared to be a bedroom. She could make out a shadow in the corner, but couldn't make out a face. When he stepped forward, he was rewarded with a gasp of surprise. Whatever she'd been expecting, it wasn't an elf.

"You cannot keep me here! I will scream until the guards come"

Zevran just laughed again, which only angered her further.

"I don't see whats funny,_ flat ear_...you are a city elf, charges of rape would have you killed"

"Ahhh, well...that certainly takes some of the fun out of my plans to extract information in the throes of your pleasure. But as you wish, scream. There are two guards just outside the door. Though...I do doubt they will help you, considering they helped tie you up. Oh, I'm sorry, did I forget to mention I am in the employ of King Alistair, and his wife...the lovely Gray Warden Commander? So silly of me to forget no?" He chuckled wickedly.

"If that is true, why use a bedroom? Why am I not in the dungeon? " she smartly retorted, thinking she had him finally.

He crossed the room to stand behind her, and leaned in close enough that his breath teased her neck as he answered.

"Oh that is easy my dear. We Antivan's simply do our best work in the bedroom"

She couldn't suppress the shiver that consumed her.

"What is this woman to you _Zevran Arainai_? Why do you care so much? Don't humans subjugate your kind as the wish to do to mine? She is nothing but your master, elf. Why would a _slave_ be so loyal to his chains" She huffed.

Her head snapped to the side when his open palm cracked against her cheek.

"I would not say such things if I were you" he said, his voice barely a whisper. He had never struck a woman. Killed, yes, hit...no. He immediately felt badly, and cursed himself for his loss of control.

"I am here because I wish to be. Because I owe that gorgeous creature a debt I can never repay. She has done more to earn my loyalty, and respect than someone like you could ever understand. You are not _worthy_ to hear the tale."

He had a guard come in and take over for him so he could get some sleep, and calm his temper. A female guard, not that the captive elf would ever realize that was a favor.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hopefully formatting is better from here out. Apologies for any hard to read spots earlier!  
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Lethallin followed his mistress through the halls of the palace. He was worried, he knew these feelings, or rather this lack of feeling. This is what happened after the bad men that smelled like friends had hurt her. And the kind quiet man had taken them away. This is how she was for a long time, until the other humans made her better. This was bad.

Kash calmly snuck along the shadows in the palace. She had spent the first few months here finding escape routes, not to escape her husband of course, but after Highever...she took no chances. Today however, they did serve to escape him. She stopped in the armory, and changed into her trademark black armor. It was comforting, and soft from years of wear. A gift from her brother when he'd returned from his honeymoon in Antiva. She knew she could count on her staff to have all of her battle gear stowed neatly away within minutes of her return.

She quickly grabbed her daggers, "Dragon's Fire" and "Peacekeeper" from the rack, and the Orlesian bow "Far Song", gifts from her parents. Dragons fire to symbolize her temper, which had earned her the pet name "my fierce girl" from her father. Peackeeper as a reminder from her mother that she should keep said temper under control. Both were finely S curved blades, one of dragonbone red, the other a gleaming silver. Both had delicate jewels set in the pommel and golden trim. The pommels were custom made to be small and light in her tiny hands, nd when she used them, they were like an extension of herself. The bow, beautifully crafted wood, her father had found in Orlais, collecting dust in a shop, was to remind her sometimes distance was best. How right that was.

The there was Lethallin. When she'd finished her training, her family had presented him to her. He was just a pup then. Gleaming black, with brown around his muzzle and paws. He reminded Fergus of Kasha in her black armor with it's brown straps. As a joke he had told Bryce they should get him for her. On a whim, and much to Eleanor's dismay, he had agreed. Kasha had named him Lethallin, a Dalish word that meant "Friend of mine". And now, more than ever she was grateful that she had him.

She could here the activity in the palace picking up, if she was going to get out unseen she had to go now. She threw her black hooded cloak over her shoulders and made her escape. She made it to the stables unseen, and thanked the maker for her luck. Her horse was still saddled. She took the reigns and lept into the saddle in one fluid movement and rode away, slowly at first, then faster, as she approached the gates. As soon as she reached the road she kicked Shadow into a gallop and rode south like hell wouldn't have her.

She hadn't planned to make this trip alone. She wanted them to do this together. Ever since she'd found Elric Maraigne, mortally wounded on the borders of Bann Lorens lands as she headed home. Before he died, he told her he'd left a key buried, that would open a chest with some of Cailans important belongings in it. Maric's blade being one of them. The key, and the chest were both in Ostagar.

She thought it was time. Time to close the door on that time of their lives. Time tom rid Ostagar of any remaining darkspawn, and finish Rioradan's work to document the events. She never expected to be doing it alone.

"Woof!"

Well, not completely alone. She still had at least one that had faith in her, unconditionally. She wouldn't think of him now. She'd think about that tomorrow. She slowed her pace as she neared Dragon's peak and saw a wagon approaching on the road. Turning her head slightly away, so as not to be recognized, she was startled when Lethallin bounded joyfully over to it.

She called and called and he would not return.

"Blast and damnation" she muttered as she rode behind him and up to the wagon, where she recognized the source of his happiness. It was Wynne, and of all people Anders.

"What in Andraste's name are you doing our here unescorted young lady?" scolded the elder mage

Kasha didn't feel like explaining, and was relieved when a commotion behind the wagon erupted. All she heard was Anders yelping, Lethallin barking in playful tones and...hissing...oh no...

"Lethallin, HEEL!" she demanded. Reluctantly the Mabari obeyed.

She ran to check on what she knew had to be Ser Punce a lot. Anders never went anywhere without the cat since they'd found him at the Vigil.

"Oh poor kitty, are you ok" she murmered, melting a little off of the icy facade she'd assumed as she fled the castle.

"Poor kitty? What about poor Anders? " the mage complained.

"Seven tower escapes, and two close calls with a rogue Templar, not to mention the Architect and The Mother, and a cat scratch has you whimpering?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

Wynne approached, waved a finger over the wound casually and continued staring at Kasha in that way that screamed "I demand an answer right now young lady". Bloody Oath how that woman reminded her of her mother.

"I'm going...south" Kasha answered, knowing it wouldn't be enough, and continued with a question of her own. "What are the two of you doing out here?"

"There was a conference at the tower, we were both in attendance. I was heading back to Denerim to the palace, to resume my duties as advisor, and it seems young Anders here is going back to Amaranthine to remain a warden. Kudos to you by the way for inspiring him to stay anywhere." Wynne replied.

"I won't sk again, what are you doing, and where are you going, and why isn't Alistair with you..." Wynne saw it before Kasha could hide it. "What has he done child? Surely it can't be that bad. "

Kasha told her what had happened. She knew it was useless trying to hide anything from Wynne. She was the first to pick up on what was happening between the young couple during the blight. She had strongly disapproved for quite a while, but later apologized and supported them wholeheartedly.

Much to Kasha's embarassment, everything she'd turned off as she'd left crumbled, as she turned into a blubbering mess on Wynn's shoulder. "I love him Wynne, I do, but he...he...doubted me, he ambushed me, I was so excited to see him, and he..." the sobs took over again. "He thinks I was unfaithful..." she wailed.

"Well that's just ridiculous! If you were going to be unfaithful, it would have been with me, certainly not Mr Broodybritches Howe!" Snorted Anders, causing Wynne to shoot daggers from her eyes almost as well as Kasha could with her hands. But it made Kasha smile.

"Oh Maker, some Commander of the Gray I am blubbering like this" Kasha said, embarassed.

Pulling herself together she assured Wynne she'd be ok, and that they should continue before it got dark.

"I have Lethallin, I have my weapons, the darkspawn are gone for the moment" except at Ostagar of course, but she kept that to herself "I'll be fine, I just need to do this. Alone. I need to think, and work, and...remember"

Wynne wasn't convinced, but she new she'd never win this argument. Anders knew the same. But maker help the king when she got back to Denerim. Anders wouldn't miss this for the world, there would be other ships.


	5. Chapter 5

Zev awoke early the next morning. He quickly made his way down the hall to check in on his prisoner before he headed down to the great hall. Judging by the fact that she attempted to spit on him when he entered, he assumed she was fine. He left orders for her to be watched closely and left.

As he approached the hall, he heard raised voices. One was unfamiliar but the other he'd remember anywhere. It just happened to come with a very attractive, if elderly, bosom. He opened the large doors quietly and slipped in, just in time for Wynne to really get going. He did not envy Alistair at this particular moment.

"Young man! King or no king, I am tempted to put you over my knee! That girl is so hopelessly in love with you she can't see or think straight, and you accuse her of maker knows what over a note? From a stranger no less? It's a wonder you could even read it with your head so far up your..."

"WYNNE!" Alistair exclaimed in shock.

She ignored him and continued "Where is this messenger now? Hmm? Do you know?" She demanded.

"No." Alistair hung his head "All I could find of my own wife was a pile of discarded clothes on the armory floor, and you think I could find a stranger?"

Zevran made his presence known

"I think I can help with that, and Wynne, lovely Wynne, it is so good to see you again!" The elf exclaimed a bit lustfully.

"My eyes are up here Zevran" She huffed.

"Ahhh, still playing hard to get are we? No matter. As I said, I can help with your missing messenger, if you'll excuse me just a moment"

Zevran returned to the room Velanna was held in, and unbound her.

"Don't get to excited my fine dalish dish...I take you to see the king, not to your freedom. And since you would not answer my questions, maybe you'll answer his."

Velanna hissed a single word. "Never".

When Zev marched the glowering elven mage into the hall, everyone turned. Anders, who had been standing by, drinking a glass of wine and enjoying the scolding Wynne was delivering to the king was the first to speak up.

"I know you! You're the elf from the Wending woods. Her name is Velanna. We met her while investigating the attacks on merchants in the area. It seemed the Darkspawn had taken her sister, and made it appear as if the humans had done it. We helped her find the sister, but the girl was tainted, and wouldn't leave the Architect. That's when the vicious Velanna here, lovely isn't she? Demanded that the commander make her a gray warden, she she could use the 'power' as she saw it, to find this sister of hers. The commander refused, she wouldn't put someone in the ranks that was joining for such selfish reasons., and Velanna swore revenge. It looks like she got it" He finished with a sad note in his voice.

Alistair averted his gaze.

It bothered Anders more than he showed. Kasha had saved him twice from the same rogue templar. This templar had gone so far as to bait him, and attempt to kill Kasha to capture him. She was the reason he wasn't tied to the tower, or the chantry any longer. It hurt him to see her hurting, so much so that she was rushing headlong into danger according to Wynne.

"I am an idiot" groaned Alistair

"Yes, you are!" came the combined voices of Wynne, Zev, Anders and...who was that forth voice he wondered for about a second before the first hit him square in the eye.

The guards made to grab the man but Alistair stopped them. "I deserved that one, let him go"

"You certainly did, and more. I warned you never to hurt my sister didn't I? I told you! You knew that no matter how seemingly strong the woman is, the heart inside her is as fragile as glass. You knew this, you've seen this, and yet you did it anyhow. What were you thinking?" Fergus finished as Wynne stepped forward to cast a healing spell on the king's rapidly swelling eye.

Zevran was quick to break the tension.

"So, since we got the information we needed, and clearly no longer need the elf here...can I keeper her? Please?"

"No Zevran, you may not. Just...just let her go." Alistair replied dully.

Whatever Velanna was expecting, it wasn't...mercy? Why would he let her go after what she'd done. Much to her dismay, she was starting to feel regret. She wanted to hurt the warden, it was true. But she hadn't intended to hurt...well anyone else.

She managed to stammer "Thank you, your...majesty" as started to cast her favorite escape spell. Suddenly, with no warning, she found herself completely devoid of mana.

"We'd prefer you use the door. Thanks" Said Alistair quietly, with a sardonic grin on his face.

As she headed through the archway she was almost run over by another man. Dressed in black, with hair to match. Steely blue eyes met hers, and they look in them was barely controlled rage.

"Pardon me, my lady" He sneered as he moved aside to let her pass, and continued towards the hall.

"Who in the maker's name are you...and do I have no guards out there?" Demanded Alistair, who was getting more frustrated by the moment. He was also slightly curious as to why Anders and Fergus were backing up, and Zev was looking ready to pounce.

"Allow me to introduce myself your majesty. I, am Nathaniel Howe." He said bowing gracefully. Always the noble.

Alistair sighed "I supposed you'd like to punch me too? Or can we just skip that part and go chat in private?"

"As you wish your Majesty" he gracefully answered, as he followed Alistair to the study around the corner.

"So, you are Rendon Howe's eldest?" Asked the king.

"I am, though I'm not proud of that. I also am not at all like him. I make it a point not to be. Which is why when I'd been told Velanna had been spotted eavesdropping I headed here directly. "

"Go on"

"I knew what she'd overheard, and how she could use it...and suspected she would. Nd while I don't care what you think of me, I care very much what you think of Kasha."

The way he spoke her name, and the thinly veiled look in the man's eyes told Alistair everything he didn't want to know.

"You..you fell in love with her didn't you?" He asked, though he new the answer.

"I did, I won't deny it. She does not know however, and because I do love her, I will not come between the two of you, not intentionally. She doesn't know and I won't tell her. She adores you, you have her heart completely. But my honor has it's bounds, and if you ever give her cause to walk away, I won't miss the chance."

Alistair had done exactly that, and he met Nathaniel's gaze and told him as much.

"I was a fool, and accused her after I received the message from this Velanna. She has left. And while I admire your honestly, I have to tell you I won't be stupid enough to let it happen again. I intend to make things right, but we need to get to her first. She is heading straight into danger, and she's alone. I would appreciate it, if you'd join us in finding her."

Nathaniel thought for a moment before he answered.

"Very well. I'll assist you. What she decides after that is up to her. I will not interfere, but neither will I vanish from her life. Can you accept us being friends then? "

Alistair could see now why they'd been so close. This was a good man. Nothing like his father had been. Maker, that woman was amazing in her ability to find friends in the last expected situation.

"Yes, I believe I can Nathaniel, and thank you."

As they returned to the hall, they could here a bit of commotion in the hall. As he rounded the corner he was greeted with a decidedly unpleasant greeting.

"There you are you ungrateful son of a thunderhumping nug!"


	6. Chapter 6

_Don't panic Alistair lovers, he's still got some berating to take, but things get better eventually. Sort of like a really bad cold, it has to get worse before it gets better. Also, Pardon my sudden change from Chapter titles to numbers...I ran out of title ideas...lol_

* * *

"Oghren...so good to see you again" Alistair groaned

"Good? GOOD? You sodding halfwit! I'll show you good, I oughta come over there and shove my fist through your face!"

"Fergus already did...besides, you're probably seeing three of me"

"I'll just hit the one in the middle!" yelled the dwarf.

"since when do you get yourself in the middle of things? Aren't you usually drunk and grumpy and...drunk? Why are you suddenly defending the boss?"

"She got me a pony!" was not the reply he was expecting.

Oghren waddled over to Fergus " Well fart me a lullaby, Good on you Fergus" he clapped the Teyrn on the shoulder"

Alistair felt like his head was going to explode. Where did all these people come from? Kasha had only left a day ago, yet here they were, all sitting in his great hall...yelling at him. He knew he deserved it, but Maker's breath this was worse than the fade! He heard doors open and shut, as a group of three walked in...one he recognized, the other two not so much.

"Alistair, what have you done now? You made My Kasha run away? I had come all the way back here to see her, and talk to her about those horrible brood mothers, I am very cross with you" said the fiery redhead crossing her arms.

"Hello Leliana does everyone know? Is there a sign on the city gate announcing the king is an idiot?" Alistair said in exasperation. "Alright, who are you two...get it over with"

The dwarf was the first to speak up. "I'm Sigrun, gray warden, legion of the dead, and this is Justice."

Well she was certainly perky. He was in no mood for perky, and asked "And how might I ask did you decide to come here?"

The dwarf answered cheerfully "Oh we followed Oghren, who followed Nathaniel, who followed Velanna..."

"And let me guess, she followed the spider to catch the fly" Quipped the king, as his gaze looked at Justice more carefully. "You there, Justice? Are you ok? You look a little..."

Sigrun interrupted and chirped "Oh he's fine, he's just dead!"

They all looked at each other in surprise, except of course Kasha's wardens, they'd gotten used to it. Well most of them, Oghren shivered a little.

"Allow me to explain" spoke Justice calmly. "I am a fade spirit. The spirit of Justice. When we met in the Black Marsh, the wardens helped me fight a very powerful demon. Unfortunately, she had ruptured the veil, and sent us all into the mortal realm, where I found myself in this body. That of a Gray Warden. I cannot get back, so I continue his mission."

Wynne was fascinated and introduced herself immediately.

"Well" said Alistair "Now that we're all here, not that I asked for any of you, maybe we can work on finding my wife? Wynne, you said she told you where she was heading."

"She did. She intends to go to Ostagar."

His heart jumped into his throat. He was remembering the last time they were there. How the mood she left the palace in, was very much the mood she'd arrived at Ostagar in.

_He remembered when he first saw her. She was walking towards him at the old temple where he'd been arguing with a mage over a message. He had watched her approach from the corner of his eye while trading barbs with the mage. She was noble, it oozed from her. Her black leather armor of far superior make than any he'd seen since arriving. Even among the king's men. Her weapons were two daggers, also of extraordinary make. She was also tiny. He'd seen larger elves. When she reached him, and the mage left he turned to look at her. It was probably then that she'd had him. He just didn't know it. Her black hair was cut short, and unruly, and her eyes..green, such an amazing green, they were cat like almost in their shape. Framed by thick black lashes, they were huge, a man could get lost in them. But they seemed...empty. When she spoke, she was all business. He knew his jokes were bad, but usually he could get a smile. Not from her. She had just told him how strange he was and headed back to Duncan. _

_When they'd gone into the wilds she'd fought him every step of the way as he tried to keep her behind his shield. She'd charged straight into battle, daggers flashing and reckless. She didn't seem to care for her own life at all, it was terrifying. She had tempted him often to just knock her out and send her back to camp. What had Duncan seen in her? All his mentor had told him was that noone was more skilled with a pair of daggers and a bow than she. He wondered how Duncan had put up with her on the road. She had even come with her own Mabari, who was resting at camp by the fire. She was not what he expected at all. He had thought at least she'd be kinder, but no. She snapped at the other two recruits if they dared speak to her. The only person she was remotely nice to was a witch they'd met. Morrigan._

"Alistair..." Wynne interrupted his memories "We must get moving if we are going to get to her. There may still be darkspawn in Ostagar, and Maker only knows whats in the Wilds these days. What do you need us to do?"

Alistair pulled himself together. He signaled for a messenger to fetch Eamon, he'd have to handle things for a while, and he sent another off to gather supplies for the group that had gathered. He knew not a single one would stay behind.

"Well, since you're all here, the guest chambers are on the second floor, get some rest, I'll have food sent up. Tomorrow at first light, we head south."

The hall was empty as he waited for Eamon. He sat on a stone bench, and closed his eyes and let the memories come.

_They had made it through the battle of Ostagar, barely. Loghain had quit the field, Duncan, and King Cailan had both died. The old witch, Flemeth had saved them, and helped them get on their way. She'd even sent along her daughter, Morrigan. Alistair instantly disliked her, and she him. But Kasha didn't seem to care. In fact she barely spoke to either of them until they reached Lothering. They had all been silent throughout the journey. Alistair was still absorbed in grief after losing his mentor, and friend, Morrigan was annoyed that she'd been sent off with them, and noone knew what was eating at Kasha. The silence continued until they came upon some bandits set up outside the town, trying to collect a toll. Kasha refused. Alistair watched her with awe as she spoke to them, as did Morrigan. Kasha was a force to be reckoned with. When the bandits said they'd take the toll off her corpse, Morrigan had burst out laughing as Kasha narrowed those catlike eyes and nearly purred the words "You can certainly try". The fools should have known then they were outmatched. Two of them were dead and the leader badly wounded when he decided to surrender. But Kasha would have none of that. Not then. Kasha turned away, just one step, as if she were going to leave, then she pivoted in a full circle, taking his head off with one clean swipe of her dagger. He never knew what hit him._

_That was enough to break them all out of their silence. Alistair was first to speak, which brought venomous teasing from Morrigan about his grief. Kasha surprised him when she turned on the witch and told her to leave him alone. Morrigan still had a smart comment, but she backed off. Kasha was in a hurry, she didn't want to stay in this town any longer than she needed. She was motivated, but he didn't know why. After all she barely knew Duncan, she may have known Cailan, but there was something else driving her They stopped in the chantry to notify them of a dead templar on the road. That's when they learned of Eamon's sudden illness. Kasha's expression was deeply thoughtful and darker for a while after that, but again, he didn't ask. They stopped at the tavern only to be ambushed by Loghain's men, that's where they'd met Leliana. After they sent the men running, she informed them that the maker sent her a vision, and she was going with them._

_He expected Kasha to tell her to sod off. But she didn't. She simply said "Oh...the maker's on my side? Welcome aboard then". Even Morrigan wondered aloud that her skull might have been crushed worse than they'd thought. She'd even stolen a prisoner from the chantry on their way out. A Qunari named Sten, who'd been imprisoned for murder. She didn't even ask the Revered Mother. She's simply pulled a small device out of the bodice of her armor and opened the locks. Still she spoke to noone. He had been so sure she'd get them all killed. _

"Alistair, you need rest before we get on the road tomorrow" The gentle voice of Wynne interrupted him.

"How can I sleep Wynne? She should be here. It's my fault she isn't, and I can't even answer the only question she'd want to know. Why did I ever believe that sodding message" He said raking his hands through his hair.

Wynne patted his arm "We'll find her. She loves you. You've survived a blight together, you'll survive this too. Now get to bed or I'll cast a sleep spell on you."

Wynne saw Eamon enter and took her leave. Alistair could see he was not pleased.

"Alistair, you cannot just go off after her, you are needed here." He said

"And if it was your wife Arl Eamon? Would you sit by? Your own wife moved heaven and earth to save you, she sacrificed her own life to save your son! I should not do the same for my wife? " Alistair said through clenched teeth.

"And before you start in on my responsibilities as king, let me remind you I wouldn't _be_ king if you hadn't convinced her that it was the only choice. And I might remind you, who the _real_ power behind my throne is. It isn't me, in case you needed a hint. You know as well as I, that I'm the Theirin blood, and I may lead the armies, but she is the ruler." He continued.

"And by the way, Kasha was the one that saved your life in the end. Had she not gotten to the urn... " and she very nearly didn't, when the guardian confronted her with the image of her dead father "You wouldn't be here"

Eamon couldn't argue with him. "Very well Alistair. I apologize. I care about you both, and I am grateful for everything you did for my family. I can handle things here, but do be careful"

"I'm sorry Eamon, I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. I feel like that little boy going to the chantry again, only I'm supposed to know better now" Alistair said, his rage spent.

Eamon smiled "I understand, if it were me, I would do the same. Is there anything in particular that needs addressed in your absence?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I want Anora Mac Tir executed or exiled, whichever works Give her one more chance to swear fealty and surrender the title. If she refuses, take care of it."

Eamon grinned "Yes, your Majesty."


	7. Chapter 7

_Hmmm what is our tempermental heroine up to? Let's see shall we?_

_This is as much as I had scribbled in my notebook, it may be a day or so while I scribble more. And of cours, actually play the game ;) _

* * *

Kasha knew she had to stop and rest. Her body ached, Lethallin was tired, and Shadow needed rest. She had pushed them all harder than she would have liked in effort to put as much distance between her and Alistair as possible. She wasn't a complete fool, she knew he'd come after her. But she was nowhere near ready to face him. Lothering wasn't far, but she knew the blight had hit it hard, and had no wish to see it just yet. That's when she remembered a clearing nearby. It should be just off the road. She dismounted and walked with Shadow until she found it. A small path that the average passerby would miss.

It led into a secluded clearing, that had been home for a time. Their first of many. It hadn't changed much, the grass was a bit taller, but the large fire pit was still there. How many nights on the road had they shared a large fire. Leliana singing quietly, Zev hitting on every female in sight, Wynne telling stories or sharing advice, Oghren fighting with Lethallin over his pants...that thought brought a smile to her face

"_Warden! You saw it! That dog stole my pants!_

"_Oghren, you are wearing your pants"_

"_But he doesn't know that! I'll show him! I don't NEED my pants!"_

"_Oghren, you very much do need your pants"_

"_You hear that, Nughumper! I'm comin for ya!" Yelled the dwarf, just before he passed out._

She could picture the tents and where everyone had always been as she set to building a fire. She couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, followed. She could swear she heard voices. She did, and as they got near, she ducked behind a fallen tree while Lethallin grumbled. Lethallin knew the trick well. He would attack, and she'd spring from the shadows. But as the voices got even closer...he seemed to calm down. And then he took off. Blasted dog, what was he up to. She had her answer soon enough as he led the pair into the camp. One very large Qunari, traveling with a very familiar Golem.

Kasha stepped out into the light of the fire and smiled as they approached.

"Kadan...you should not be out here alone" Sten told her, with all the intensity she remembered.

"Yes. It should be with the other squishy human should it not? Listening to whining and bad jokes?" Said Shale.

Kasha smiled a little. Some things never change. Including being called "It" by Shale. Though she knew it wasn't an insult, not anymore. It had been once, but Shale had softened after some time together, after being treated as a being with a mind and soul instead of a slave.

"What are the two of you doing here? Kasha asked them.

"Looking for you." Sten replied, simple and direct as usual. He was not known for his lengthy answers.

Shale however continued to explain.

"Wynne got called away before we could get any answers in Tevinter about my...squishiness. I had nothing better to do at the time, So I searched for the Qunari people. I wished to learn about them. I found Sten, He arranged for me to stay in his village for a while. That's is where I was when I heard you were missing" She finished with a shudder.

"I've only been gone for a day and a half, how could you know so quickly, so far away? "

Shale shuddered again "A little bird told me" She sounded traumatized.

"A...bird? Like a carrier pigeon?"

"Oh why must you mention even more of the feathered fiends? No, it was the swamp witch. She turned into a flying nuisance and pestered me, threatening to do foul, _FOUL_ things if I did not come at once." The poor golem sounded as if she might cry. Though Kasha suspected it was more the trauma of potential bird droppings than fear for her safety.

"Wait, Morrigan? She...she disappeared after the arch demon, and made me swear I'd never look for her. How could she know..."

Shale let out an exasperated sigh "You were not to seek her, that does not mean she cannot seek you. She used one of those vile creature forms she knew everything, she even used her foul magic to bring us here."

"She could not have done so if you had let me cut out her tongue as I had wanted" Sten gruffly added.

"Well, I'm glad we didn't...it is good to see you both again"

So Morrigan was watching out for her. An interesting thought indeed. They had grown as close as sisters in their travels. Which had confused poor Morrigan badly at first. The girl had never had a friend before, and it scared her terribly to care for another person. But by the end, she had learned how to be one in return. Even offering herself, in order to save both Kasha and Alistair from dying on that tower when the Arch Demon fell. The woman hated Alistair, and he hated her, yet they both came together, that one night...to save her.

"It is coming you know" Shale interrupted her thoughts. "It leaves Denerim in the morning. It knows where you are going. Would you like me to squish it before it gets here, I hear there are several of them but not so many that I could not squish them all?"

Kasha had to laugh. "No. No squishing Alistair. Though I appreciate the offer. We'll just have to get moving early"

"Then it should sleep, and so should the qunari. I will keep watch"

Shale had never bothered with names. Not for any of them. Wynne had been "The elder mage" and at one point "The fussy mage". Morrigan was "the swamp witch", Zev was "the painted elf", Leliana "the bard" or "the sister". Poor Alistair, he was just "it". Well, at least Wynne would be happy if she knew. Kasha was no longer unescorted. She whispered a thank you to the night air, hoping maybe Morrigan heard it, as she drifted off to sleep.

_They were in Redcliffe castle. The Arl was comatose, and his son possessed by a demon. They were upstairs, fighting the horrible demon, when it finally fell, and resumed the form of the child, lying helpless on the floor. Lady Isolde was shrieking, hysterical, begging them not to kill him. Begging to let them have Jowyn, the blood mage that had poisoned Eamon, perform a blood magic ritual to send someone into the fade. Begging to sacrifice her own life for that of her son. That is when Kasha's carefully walled up humanity had started to crack. The images of her own nephew lying dead, and her mother refusing to leave her father and escape. Begging, demanding that she go with Duncan, all assaulted her at once. But she couldn't let her defenses fall, not now. It was a choice she didn't want to make, but she had to. She had to make all the choices. In the end she'd relented and allowed Isolde to die to save the boy. _

_They returned to camp. Alistair was screaming at her, questioning her choice. That is when it all came loose. For all his talk, about owing Eamon more than that, and criticizing her for not looking into other options, she could read between the lines. _

"_So this is about you, and Eamon, and not about me at all right?" She hissed back at him. "You would rather I had killed a child?"_

_his next words were poorly chosen, though he had no way of knowing. "You let lady Iolde sacrifice herself, how could you let her do that!"_

_With a deadly calm she turned, looked him square in the eye, and prayed the tears weren't visible "the same way I let my mother sacrifice herself for me." Then she turned and walked as far away from him, and everyone else as she could before she's let the tears loose. She was sitting near a small pond, knees pulled up to her chin, wracked with sobs when he sheepishly approached her. She knew he was there, quiet was not his strong suit. _

"_He was not much older than my nephew Ohren you know. Connor I mean. He and Fergus' wife Oriana were the first to die, when the castle came under attack. Mother and I fought our way through the castle searching for father. Mother insisted we go to the armory and save what we could. She used her key, and I guarded the door. Lethallin was missing, we'd gotten separated in battle. It was awful. People were dying, screaming, things were burning. I was alone at the door, and one of the men grabbed me, by the hair, and dragged me around the corner. ..two of his friends, they barred mother in the armory. I could hear her screaming to be let out"_

_He was sitting beside her now, she couldn't stop, she couldn't make the words stop._

"_He...he did, terrible things, said terrible things I couldn't fight back, I couldn't get away, I couldn't get him off. He had my face pressed hard into the wall. I said no, I screamed no. I wanted to die. And he... said he deserved it, called me vile names, the mildest of which was a trophy of war. Lethallin got to me, and killed the bastard, but it was too late. And I couldn't cry, I couldn't feel, I had to fight, I had to save mother. "_

_She couldn't look at him, and she still couldn't stop talking, it was like her mind had to get it out. _

"_When we found father, he was dying. We tried to convince him to escape, but he couldn't move. Duncan came, and promised to take mother and I to safety, but she wouldn't go. I'd wanted to join when I met Duncan but father wouldn't allow it. But when Duncan asked him , to recruit me, in return for my safety, he said yes. But mother wouldn't come, she wouldn't leave him. She insisted on staying there, to guard father, and my escape. And I let her. I LET her sacrifice herself for ME. "_

_Alistair took her hand, and she looked at him. He apologized, for berating her. _

"_I understand. You couldn't have known. I should have told you, or at least allowed Duncan to. Instead I just...shut myself down. I threw myself at every sword in sight, and you just kept keeping me alive. Even when I was awful to you. If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I hope you can forgive me. Maybe we should start over."_

_He smiled and shook the hand he was holding, "Hi, I'm Alistair. Gray Warden and lover of fine cheeses" He grinned_

_She replied "I'm Kasha, and you're still a very strange man"_

_The weight she'd been carrying with her was lifting._

"_Just one question Kasha, if you don't mind, you said these men attacked your...Castle?"_

"_Oh, yes, my father was Teyrn Bryce Cousland. He was preparing to go to Ostagar, when the attack took place."_

"_And who attacked you?"_

"_Arl Rendon Howe, his best friend, and Loghain's current right hand man"_

_Alistairs shocked face started to fade..._

"Kadan, we must go. Get up." She heard Sten saying.

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and stood. Everything was packed up and ready to go. For the first time since she'd fled, she considered turning back. But regardless of her personal problems, Ostagar needed to be dealt with. She'd made a promise. She knew he was coming, but she wasn't ready just yet. She was starting to realize, though she didn't want to admit it, that this was partly her fault. She had grown up knowing one basic rule about life as nobility. Everyone is out for themselves. She'd told him that once, after meeting his gold digging sister. But she took it back, she couldn't stand to see him jaded like that. She'd envied his ability to see the good potential in everyone. But she should have reinforced it. Maybe then he wouldn't have believed...well, it didn't matter now, it was done. She wouldn't think about that now.


	8. Chapter 8

They were quite the sight leaving Denerim. The king, traveling with a bard, some mages, a couple dwarves and a couple nobles. Luckily they'd set out before most of the city awoke. The only ones left to look at the oddly were the drunks returning home to their beds. Alistair was grateful for one thing, at least with all these people, he could leave his contingent of guards behind. They made thinks so awkward. He was still annoyed at how he'd had to act with Kasha when he'd stopped at The Vigil. He had been gone when she'd received orders to report to Amaranthine, and wanted to give her a proper goodbye. Instead he had to settle for a chaste kiss on the cheek, and he may have snuck in a whisper about Lampposts and their care in winter. She'd grinned, and nodded, and watched him walk away. He mentally kicked himself again, here she had returned and he'd acted like a royal ass.

Nathaniel and Sigrun had rode ahead, scouting, the mages and Oghren rode in the wagon with the supplies, and Leliana and Zev rode on either side of the wagon. Alistair rode in front, and found himself surprised when Fergus joined him.

"Look, I shouldn't have hit you, brother. I'm sorry...I tend to act first ad ask questions later" the young teyrn said.

"It's...alright. Besides, I had it coming. Much easier to explain than hitting myself. Seems to be a family trait, that temper. Although Kasha never actually punched me. But I did have to drag her bodily from my sister's house." Alistair grinned.

"Fergus laughed "Oh do tell"

"Well, you see I had a sister I'd never met, and Kasha agreed to go with me, to meet her for the first time. The woman was awful, only after the money she assumed I had. But when she called Kasha a tart, well...I thought at first she was going to kill her. Instead, she just...glared...intently." Started Alistair

"Oh-ho, let me guess, Narrowed eyes, fire veritably shooting from them, head cocked ever so slightly to the left and one eyebrow raised? Sound about right?" Fergus chuckled.

"That's it exactly. I figured, you know, she'd behave, and just continue glaring"

Fergus laughed out loud "Oh no, that look is just your two minute warning. "

"Yes, I figured that out. Just as I said I wanted to go, and didn't know why I came...Goldanna opened her mouth again. I don't even recall what she said. All I saw was Kasha grab a dagger and tell her someone should cut her tongue out! That's when I picked her up from behind and carried her out. Luckily I was wearing good armor...she was kicking my shins something awful! The woman may be incredibly tiny, but she is mighty as an arch demon when she'd mad" Alistair smiled.

Fergus laughed again, his little sister was at that. "Did she ever tell you, she was born several weeks early, and not expected to live?"

Alistair's eyes widened "No, she never told me that"

Fergus continued "She astounded everyone when she proved them wrong. But she always remained small and delicate. Father had a very difficult time with her. He didn't want her trained as anything but a noble woman. Mother of course agreed. But they couldn't keep her out of the training yard. She'd even convinced Ser Gilmore to help. Father almost sent him away over it, but she talked him out of it. The girl got away with murder I tell you. The problem was, standard swords and shields were too big for her. But she kept trying, and as a result kept the healers busy. He finally gave up, and hired a woman named Isobella, who's ship was at port nearby, and a bard he knew from Orlais. Mother wasn't happy at first, but he convinced her that the bard could teach our little tomboy some grace, and savvy, and how to act like a lady. Mother had tried, but Kasha saw it as frivolity. Learning it this way though...well, if she thought of it as a weapon, she'd use it. And she did, while she still managed to chase off every potential match Mother found, she convinced every one of them it was their idea"

"I had always wondered where she'd learned her style, but never asked. I couldn't keep track of the woman in battle it was maddening. She'd be at my back, wielding her daggers, and then vanish...only to show up with a bow behind a tree, and I'd never seen anyone parry the way she does...many frustrated enemies were left in her wake, they just couldn't _hit_ her most of the time" Alistair chuckled. But he remembered her telling him about the one time she hadn't been able to deflect an attack, it still hurt his heart to think of it.

"She is her own brand of battlemaiden that is certain." Fergus said.

"What? No mention of me? I too trained our lovely gray warden" Zev interrupted.

Alistair raised an eyebrow and retorted "Convincing her that learning the application of poisons, required your arms around her was not training, Arainai, and neither was jumping out of the shadows and kissing her"

Zev just shrugged and grinned "Well, you can't blame a man for trying. Repeatedly!"

Leliana giggled "Alistair, you were so jealous of Zev back then, and look at you now, such good friends!"

"Yes, well, I still have to watch him like a hawk, otherwise he'd ravage every maid in the palace" Alistair quipped.

A ruckus up the road brought the group to a halt. Nathaniel was riding back...and had someone in the saddle with him. Of all people, it was Velanna.

"By the maker, what is she doing back! I thought I was being nice turning you loose, and you're what...ambushing us now?" Alistair nearly shouted.

"I...I...want to help" She stammered

It was Wynne who spoke up now. "I think you have _helped_ enough young woman."

Velanna dropped her eyes for a moment, gathering courage. And spoke just one word. "Please."

Alistair pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. As if he didn't have enough to worry about. Zev seemed to have read his mind.

"A wise, and beautiful warden once told me, you keep your friends close...and your enemies closer. T'is good advice, no?"

Alistair agreed. "I suppose you're right, let's make camp for the night. You can keep an eye on her"

Zev grinned broadly "My pleasure my good friend"


	9. Chapter 9

_I promise we're getting back to Kasha soon. The gang here just won't shut up at the moment, and they insist on more time. Royalty, what can ya do? Also, Hopefully I'll manage to spell 'Oghren' and 'Teyrn' correctly, now that I've attached a post-it to my screen. Cheers!_

_Oh, and if you'd like a visual of Kasha you can see her here __.com/843581/albums/723523/26660_

_Also, Wynne would like to thank Erynnar for her inspiration ;)_

* * *

"I saw a clearing not far down the road" Said Nathaniel "looks like as good a spot as any to stop until morning"

"Sounds good, let's go" was the curt reply from Alistair. He knew he should try and be more civil to the man, but damn it, he was jealous. Even if he knew he had no reason.

When the arrived at their location Leliana let out a delighted squeal. "Maker be praised! This was _our_ camp! Look over there, part of Morrigan's shelter still remains!"

Alistair looked around in the fading light, she was right. This was their first camp, and the one they'd always come back to when they passed through the area. Which was pretty often while the criss crossed the country during the blight.

"Ohhhhh! We should build a big fire like we did then! We can share stories, and get to know each other, yes? Wynne can cook! It will be such fun!" The bard rushed happily.

"Dishing dirt on my little sister? I'm game!" Said Fergus.

Sigrun added an enthusiastic "Me too!"

"I suppose next she'll want me to knit mittens and wag my finger at passing children" Huffed Wynne.

Anders couldn't resist sticking his foot in "Ohhh can I have a scarf? And a sweater for Ser Pounce a lot? Matching ones, in a nice shade of blue!"

"I'd be careful harassing your betters Anders, you may find yourself needing a cat sweater when you wake up" She shot back.

Alistair hung back, staring blankly out over the little pond. She'd been sitting right here, when the barrier finally broke. When she'd bared her soul to him. Even after he'd given her such a hard time over Isolde. It was the first time he'd seen the _real_ Kasha. He'd felt an attraction when they first met, but her behavior had kept it just that. It was here that he'd started down a long road, one that would lead them to their "happily ever after". Or so he'd thought.

"Alot of memories for you here I would guess" Came the quiet voice of Fergus.

Alistair nodded, and went on to tell him of that night, and the horrors she'd told him of. The other man's eyes were filled with rage, and tears.

"Oh maker, Fergus, she didn't tell you. I'm so sorry...I shouldn't.."

"No, no it's alright Alistair, I wouldn't expect her to. In her mind, the instant she killed Howe, that door slammed shut. I'm just glad she had you. " He said. And he meant it. He used to tease that she would find a man that could handle her, and he was glad she did. Well, could handle her up until now. Running away wasn't like her. No-one could have expected this. Fergus was worried that something other than Alistair's blunder sent her fleeing, but didn't let on.

"So does that mean I'm save from your fists for a while then?" Alistair grinned

"We'll see brother" Fergus chuckled, as he led Alistair over to the fire where Leliana was already telling tales.

"Oh, you should have seen my Kasha, facing down this silly knight in Denerim. The Wardens, you see, were branded as traitors to the crown and murderers of King Cailan. This knight, demanded a duel of honor right there in the city streets. The nerve! But my Kasha, she was too smart for him. She was so smooth, and so calm, and said to the knight 'Loghain's allegations are false'. She never even flinched when he then accused her of slander. She looked him right in the eyes, you understand she only reached his chest, so it was rather funny, and said 'Ser, you do realize if you are wrong, you'd be killing an innocent' I think she even fluttered her lashes at him! And he walked away, just like that!" Leliana finished.

"Sweet Maker, Leliana! Curse you and your storytelling, you made me burn my herbs!" Scolded Wynne teasingly, She'd always loved Leliana's tales, and always got so absorbed she forgot what she was doing.

"Leliana, why do you call my sister your Kasha, if you don't mind me asking" Questioned Fergus.

"Oh, that's quite easy, because I love her" Leliana shrugged casually.

"Watch out Alistair! You know how those sodding poetessessesssssh can be...hic" Oghren had found the wine.

The whole camp burst into laughter, even Alistair.

"As a sister you filthy dwarf!" Leliana replied with more than a little annoyance.

"Oh, by the stone Oghren, speaking of filthy and you...you reek even more than usual! Did you roll in something?" Pointed out Sigrun.

"I do not! Your nose is just all sensitive since we dragged your out of the deep roads! Little miss 'ohhhh trees smell so gooooood' and 'ohhhh everything's so shiny!" He mocked her, utterly offended.

"Really Oghren, my friend, you definitely smell worse today than usual. It's strongest near your feet, check your boots" Nathaniel suggested.

"Oh by the tits of my ancestors, and all the brood mothers in the deep roads! Who had a sodding dog out here?" The dwarf bellowed.

Alistair's head snapped around, his face serious yet hopeful at the same time. He answered with one word.

"Kasha"


	10. Chapter 10

_I hit a writer's block for a few days, sorry bout that! _

* * *

Lothering was completely ravaged. Nothing was left of it except one small hovel. Kasha had expected as much. They stopped here to rest regardless. Every step seemed to bring back a memory. Something Morrigan had said, meeting Leliana and Sten.

"Here, look at this. Do you know what this is?" Alistair asked quietly.

"Your new weapon of choice?" Kasha grinned

_A single, red rose. He told her it reminded him of her. Beauty amongst darkness and despair. It was the day after their conversation in camp. He'd felt badly that she'd seen nothing but death, heard nothing but complaints, many from him. It wasn't long after he'd come to her confessing he loved her, which she returned, they'd had their first kiss in that moment. They'd stolen several more after. Then came their sweetest memory yet. He was so nervous, and unsure, and worried that he was pushing her so soon after she'd been so horribly traumatized. He needn't have worried, she had thought she'd be afraid but...not with him. He made her feel safe, even before when things weren't so pleasant between them. She wanted nothing more than to be his, only his. It was amazing, and beautiful. Everything it should be. He'd been so nervous about it being his first, yet he seemed to be made just for her, and she him. It was gently, loving, he was so very attentive, and intuitive..._

"Sodding bloody oath!" Kasha cursed.

"It spent far too much time with the drunken dwarf I see" Said Shale.

"Maybe I have at that"

"You were thinking of the other warden?"

Kasha nodded.

"Then why did it leave? It could have been traveling with it's husband" The golem questioned.

"He believed that I was...wait, you don't know? Morrigan didn't tell you already?" Kasha asked, surprised.

"The swamp witch said only that 'the fool king' had upset it." Shale shrugged.

"Well if you must know, he believed I was unfaithful to him while I was away. With one of the Wardens under my command no less. The icing on the cake, it was an anonymous note that contained the alleged information" She answered.

"_Parshaara_ "

Kasha turned to Sten in surprise.

"You made me believe you were woman that fights." He said.

"I thought we'd been over this?"

"Then why did you run away, Kadan? You choose to fight darkspawn, you faced down an arch demon. Yet you flee from misunderstanding?

"It's complicated, Sten" She said.

"_Vashedan_ , it is only complicated if you wish it to be. "

She stood staring out over the small lake behind the hovel. He was right. But she couldn't just go back. There was so much more. Things noone outside of Anders even knew. And maker help him if he so much as hinted to Wynne. There was even more that only she knew. Things she was trying to push away, and yes...maybe run away from, she admitted to herself. She took a step forward, to pick up a flower that caught her eye, when he boot slipped on a patch of wet grass.

Suddenly and without warning, a section of the hill fell out from under her. She tried desperately to stop her descent to no avail. She landed on the rocky ground below, arm bent at an angle she knew was not right, and neither was the stabbing pain and snapping sound in her forearm. Her eyes watered with the intensity of the pain, and when they cleared she could only scream. Several spiders, large, and corrupted, were coming towards her, their hisses filling the air. Lethallin managed to tackle one before it got to her and Sten and Shale each had gotten the attention of two more.

Kasha tried to get to her knees, she had almost succeeded when she was pinned from behind, one of the monstrous arachnids digging it's mandibles into her shoulders. At her horrific scream Lethallin charged again from where he'd been helping Shale and Sten. His weight knocked it from her back, as he pinned it to the ground, thrashing his head back and forth until it twitched, and shuddered, and finally died.

Her vision was blurring, her ears roared, She could barely see Sten and Shale approaching, vaguely she could hear the concerned voice of Sten calling to her, but she could not speak. She could hear Lethallin crying and whining, feel him nudging her with his muzzle, begging her to stand up.

She felt his tongue upon her face, and heard Sten.

"Kadan"

She tried as hard as she could to answer, but the sheer effort of finding her voice plunged her into darkness. As it took her, all she could think of was The Black Marsh and the Circle Tower, she frantically prayed "Oh dear maker, please not the fade!"


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry! I got wrapped up in real life and couldn't escape. Plus a bad case of writer's block. Ugh. And we're going to be doing some bouncing for a bit. Between the fade and the world.

_Kasha looked around what appeared to be the landsmeet chamber. Only it wasn't, not really. It was the fade. Twice she'd been in this twisting puzzle, both times the unwilling victim of demons. Oh how she hated the fade. Wynne may have felt at home here but not her. She remembered having to save her companions from dreams they didn't wish to leave. Alistair had been the worst. So desperate was he for a real family, the vision of his sister and her children providing him a home, and comfort engulfed him completely. She'd thought she'd lose him then. A voice, coarse as gravel interrupted her mental meandering._

"_And here I thought you were a worthy opponent. " He sneered. "You defeated me, deposed my daughter, slaughtered an army of darkspawn, and an archdemon, made a king out of a boy, yet here you stand. Helpless, cowardly, running away from your duty, as you accused me of doing."_

_Loghain. Even in death the bastard haunts her. Kasha turned and fired back._

"_Duty. What do you know of duty. I have done more in the last year to protect Ferelden than you ever could have had you been allowed to live. I hunted down and defeated an enemy you never could. Maybe you remember The Architect? He escaped you did he not? He did not escape me. My enemies don't live to come back and hurt others" She spat at the man._

"_How True" rang another voice. "She even manages to turn their surviving children against their poor, deceased father's memory"_

_Howe. Could she never have a good experience in the fade?_

"_Oh yes, Howe, how easy it is to blame me isn't it? And to forget how cruel you were, even to your own children. They remember, I didn't need to do anything to make them see what a traitorous bastard you were. It was Nathaniel, after all that found the letters in the estate basement. If one wants to keep their facade of innocence in tact, one shouldn't leave correspondence lying around should he? I bear no guilt for your death Howe, nor for your family seeing what you truly were. Be gone!" She commanded, as his spirit faded from sight. Loghain remained however._

"_So you feel guilt for executing me then? How odd." He murmured._

_Kasha was silent. Her emotions, once again, as they had a year prior at war with each other. If she'd spared him, Alistair would have hated her, he'd have left. It was written on his face when Riordan had suggested it. Loghain had deserved execution. She knew that with her heart, and her mind. But Anora was standing right there. His daughter. She couldn't stop seeing her own father bleeding at her feet in the larder. Anora became her own face, pleading to not see her father die. On the other hand there was Alistair, staring at the man who had killed his brother, and the man he'd seen as a father, deserving to have the same justice she'd handed out to Howe earlier. Her father's voice had rang in her head telling her duty first, but never had duty been so unclear. Duty to Ferelden demanded he pay for his treasonous crimes. Duty to the Wardens asked for more in their ranks to face the battle to come. Duty to Alistair, her friend, her first love demanded he get satisfaction. The sight of Anora, covered in her father's blood, kneeling beside his body ever left her mind. _

"_Yes, not for the act itself, you deserved what you got. And you know that. But for your daughter having witnessed it." She finally admitted._

"_Let it go Warden. Anora knew it would happen, if you won the landsmeet. She knew this when she gave her support. As much as I love the girl, our only relationship was blood. I was absent most of her life. She would have done it herself if the roles were reversed and felt no guilt for it." He said plainly "Move on Warden" and vanished from her sight._

"She is breathing" Said Sten, to the very anxious Mabari. "But we need help. You know what you must do. Go."

Lethallin took off at full speed. Following the road they'd taken to get this far. He must find her mate.

Sten and Shale gathered Kasha gently, and walked toward what was left of the Tavern in Lothering. After deciding the structure was sound enough, they went inside and found an upturned bed. They placed her on it gently, on her side. The wounds on her back were atrocious. Sten applied what poultices he had while Shale scrounged for more. Sten whispered a prayer that the hound would find Alistair.

"It will live?" Asked Shale

"She is strong of body. It is her mind that must decide" Answered Sten.


	12. Chapter 12

_Thanks to Erynnar for the proofread!_

* * *

"_must keep running, running, running. Must keep running..." Lethallin thought to himself over and over as the scent of 'him' got stronger. _

"Well she couldn't have gone far, considering the uhh..freshness of what Oghren stepped in" Nathaniel stated.

"Then we set out tomorrow, at dawn. Hopefully we'll either catch up on the road, or at the very least arrive at Ostagar close behind her." Alistair said, seemingly a bit hopeful. He'd have taken off right this second, but the group had traveled hard thus far and needed the rest. Especially if, as he hoped, they continued with few stops between here and there.

"I can't believe she took off, armed with only two daggers and a bow" complained Fergus. "I can just hear Mother now yelling 'Katherine Eleanor Cousland!' the way she'd done so many times when she'd try to run out to play without her cloak and mittens."

"Oh trust me, even if she hadn't taken more than that she can handle herself. Fortunately, she seems to have taken her swords as well." Said Alistair.

"And...Katherine? We've been married close a year and she never told me..."

Fergus laughed "She hates that name so much. She didn't know what her proper name was herself for a time. 'Kasha' was a pet name father picked up in his travels, and it stuck. When he wasn't calling her 'pup' that is. She had been sneaking around the castle, stealing cookies out of the larder when Mother caught her, I think she was all of 5 years. When mother addressed her with her full name, and confined her to her quarters, she threatened anyone with bodily harm if they ever dared call her that. I'd venture now she really could follow through on that threat. Though I never saw her wield swords, when did she learn that exactly?"

"I taught her what I could, and have the scars to prove it. She knew the movements well enough, she just had to adjust a bit for the longer blade. Sten...the Qunari...helped so to speak..." Alistair started.

"Oh you should have seen the big softy!" Giggled Leliana "He'd hold one of his arms straight out, and have my Kasha pull herself up until her chin reached it, and repeat it over and over until one of them wore out. Now, mind you Sten is very stubborn, and has this iron will. And my Kasha as you know, is just as bad, and at the time was trying to prove to him she could fight as well as any man. There were nights we all fell asleep before they quit!"

"This is what I don't understand" Everyone fell silent as Justice spoke up. "In the time I have known her, she faced down dragons, demons, darkspawn by the horde, saved a city that was beyond saving, and foiled an assassination plot...yet she fled over an argument. It just doesn't seem at all like her."

"Who in their right minds would try to Assassinate the commander?" asked Sigrun.

"That would be me" said Zevran and Nathaniel in unison

Oghren let out a harsh laugh "And you'd think after those two bumbling attempts they'd give up!"

Before anyone else could say anything Alistair had Nathaniel by the throat.

"You...tried to KILL her?" He growled.

Nathaniel remained calm, even with the hand on his throat. "That was my intent when I arrived, yes. But I had changed my mind, and simply tried to take back some family heirlooms. When she found me in the prison, I told her as much. She conscripted me then, and helped me to see what my father had been."

"Sounds familiar, except for the father thing...no?" Said Zevran.

Fergus put a hand on Alistair's shoulder "He saved my life Alistair, and Kasha's several times over. And he's here now, to help. Let him go"

Alistair relented. She hadn't told him about that.

"At any rate, Justice is right. She isn't acting herself. She's never backed down from a fight. Something is going on, besides this...misunderstanding with Alistair. Anders, do you know anything?" Asked Wynne.

The mage looked uncomfortable. He knew plenty, but he was sworn to silence, and he couldn't betray that. She'd done to much for him. "No, I...don't know anything"

He was saved by the frantic barking of one very large Mabari entering the camp and tackling Alistair. Velanna was ready with a spell, but Zevran held her back.

"That's Lethallin. Kasha's hound!" Fergus exclaimed. "He is upset, but I can't understand him. Noone but Kasha ever could. Something is wrong. He would never willingly leave her side."

Lethallin was barking, and spinning, running from person to person. Noone understood him. But...this woman might. She smelled different. He didn't know her. He tentatively walked over to Velanna and sniffed. He knew the others, Kasha smelled like them when she came home.

Velanna remained calm, and put a small hand forward for Lethallin to sniff. Everyone in camp stopped to watch.

"I've never seen him approach a stranger like this." Whispered Fergus.

"Neither have I, not unless Kasha ordered it. This is strange" Replied Alistair.

Velanna put a hand on either side of the large head, and gazed into the hounds eyes. All watched as the two seemed to converse in some strange, silent, manner. Finally Lethallin laid down, and drank from a bowl she filled with water, while she walked over to join the group.

"Kasha is injured. Badly from what I could make out. She is not alone, but she needs healing magic." Velanna told them.

"But how..." Started Alistair.

"I learned a few tricks from our clan's Halla keeper before my exile. One species isn't so different from the other if you know how to listen. What's important is we get Kasha what she needs. And quickly. I am no healer, but I know a spell that can get myself, and another to her quickly. I would suggest Wynne, as the rest of you are young enough to ride hard and fast behind Lethallin." Velanna said.

"Well I'd normally take some exception to that age comment from a young upstart like you, but at the moment...Kasha is what's important. I agree" Huffed Wynne.

"Wait, where do we go? Could you understand where she was?" Asked Alistair, still in shock.

"I couldn't understand more than what he remembered about the place. Something..." She looked unsure.

"Just tell us!" Fergus nearly shouted.

_And this is where they are going to be convinced I really am crazy_ she though before answering.

"Something about a giant in a cage, and dirty pantaloons" She said exasperated and more than a little confused.

"Lothering!" Giggled Leliana.

"Lethallin was so proud when he trotted back to us carrying those pantaloons in his mouth for her. And that's where we found Sten, in the cage!" The bard said.

"Pull up camp, we're leaving. Now." Alistair said, ready to ride through the black city itself to get to his love.

"Wynne" Velanna asked "Are you ready?"

"Yes. I am" answered the elder woman. As Velanna grasped her arm with one hand, and cast the spell with the other. Vines shot up from the earth, engulfing the pair, and they vanished.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N I don't even know how long it's been since chapter 12. Real life got crazy, in a GOOD way when my husband returned from Afghanistan. Best case of writer's block I've ever had! I almost gave it up, but with such great Twitter encouragement from "The Hearties" I put it back. So, on with the show! And the fade ._

* * *

Another door. Wonderful. Isn't that how it always works in this place? Kasha grew weary of the blurry shifting sights around her, and opened the door in front of her, where she found herself facing Duncan. Why is it always Duncan?

"Hello child.." the spirit started

"Duncan." Kasha stated flatly "Let me guess, you're going to give me a million reasons why I should stay here and be happy right? Well save your breath. I'm not going anywhere."

"Young lady, you do not belong in this place. You have responsibilities to the Wardens, to Ferelden, you must return"

"Duty duty duty, you sound like Father! For your information I turned command over to Nathaniel Howe. I quit."

Duncan laughed, "You can't just 'quit' girl, it's in your blood."

"Sod my blood! It's gotten me nothing but heartache since the day you recruited me. It was my blood that made Howe do what he did, it was my blood that got me on the throne with Alistair, it was my blood that sodding freak, the Architect wanted, and it's my BLOOD that is taking away the one thing Alistair needs most!" It felt pretty good to let it all out.

"It was greed that made Howe into the monster he was, it was your CHOICE that put you on the throne with Alistair, the rest, I'll grant you." Duncan spoke.

"Well thank you very much for your generosity" Kasha snarked back.

"Pup, you are being quite rude to our guest"...

* * *

Wynne was a bit dizzy after Velanna's spell, but went straight to where she spied Sten standing guard in front of the run down inn. He immediately showed her to Kasha's side, where she looked at the wounds the spider had caused.

"Hmmm, these wounds are bad, but not near bad enough to cause her to be unconscious, even with the corrupted venom. How long has she been like this?" The old mage asked.

Sten replied "3 days".

"Odd" thought Wynne aloud. "No sign of fever, or infection, I don't understand".

"She is being stubborn and foolish." Stated Sten.

"Sten, you cannot possibly think she's remaining unconscious on purpose" A very shocked Wynne replied.

"Does the elder mage not have a fade spirit within her? Could she not see if this is indeed the case?" Shayle asked.

"Well..yes but.."

"Then you shall confirm it, and see that I am correct" shrugged the Qunari.

With a sigh Wynne agreed, closing her eyes and asking the spirit for assistance.

* * *

"Father?" gasped Kasha

"Yes pup, and your mother will be along shortly. We need to talk"

This can't be good, she thought.

"Pup, you must go back. This isn't YOU, you have never run away from anything your entire life."

"Ha" she laughed bitterly. "I ran away from you, and mother, left you in that larder while I went off to Ostagar. After Ostagar, I ran away from what happened there, not even going back to look for Fergus! Or to at least look for survivors! I Ran away from my own arling to save Amaranthine, leaving my Wardens to fight off a herd of Ogres. Oh and to top t ALL off? When we found out that the warden that kills the Arch Demon dies? I ran away from THAT too and dragged Alistair with me!"

"But the Arch-demon still died did it not?" Interjected Duncan.

"Yes, it did...but we..."

"Then that is what matters. The Grey Wardens do what they must. There were three of you. Two after Riordan fell. What would have happened had you not 'run away' as you put it? Do you believe Alistair would have let you sacrifice yourself?" Duncan asked calmly.

"Well no...but..."

"He would not have. He would have taken that final blow to save you, and as much as we tried to keep him from the throne, it is clear it is where he needed to be. His death would have left the country in Anora's hands...and while a capable ruler, she is her father's daughter."

"But why would the Grey Wardens even care about who ruled Duncan? You said yourself we're to stay out of it.."

"Indeed. But it is better for the order to have someone on the throne that fully understands why we are needed. Had he died, this would not be the case. And if you had somehow convinced him to let you take the blow, who would have taken care of the threat that followed?" Duncan asked.

"I suppose they'd have sent Orlesian Wardens..."

"Yes, and how well do you think that would have gone over in Amaranthine? Do you think an Orlesian commander would have saved that city? You brought a humanitarian quality to the Wardens Kasha, you found ways to do what you had to do, without hurting innocents. In the past, this was not the case. Whatever you did, however you survived, it was for the greater good. Noone need know any more than that."

"I suppose..." Kasha stammered

"And each time you saved something much bigger, Pup. You're looking at it the wrong way. You didn't abandon us, we made you go, you had a duty, you didn't run away from Ostagar, Loghain did that. Returning at that point would have been suicidal, and Fergus is fine. And your keep survived, as did all of your wardens, AND you saved an entire city just months after saving a nation. You should be proud Pup, you are a hero, and we always knew it was in you."

Kasha felt more relief, more weight lifting from her shoulders.

"Your father is right my dear girl." Eleanor announced as she swept into view. "We couldn't be more proud of you. And you found love along the way, a good man, you have the chance to have what your father and I have...why are you doing this to yourself? To him?"

"Some random stranger tells him I was unfaithful, and he believes them? And I'm the one in the wrong?" Kasha demanded, suddenly sounding like a petulant child.

Eleanor chuckled "My dear, you've been married for just over a year. Six months of that you spent apart. You don't just get married and have everything turn into rainbows and mabari puppies my dear, it's work, and it's a learning process. You have to do it together."

"But you and father never fought.." Kasha replied

Bryce and Eleanor both laughed, as Bryce answered "Pup, we fought like cats and dogs the first year! And at least 3 times a year after that."

"The first time your father went off to do something away from home, I was a mess. I was sure he'd meet some beautiful young woman and be swept off his feet. When he returned, I found a necklace, with an inscription reading 'may our love always be new' and I was livid." She recalled with a smile as Bryce broke in.

"What she never took time to realize, was that the necklace was for her. With the stress of running Highever alone for the first time, and my being gone, all the excitement mixed with her fears caused her to lash out. But we talked it through, and...well making the up is always fun" Bryce grinned.

"That is what you need to do my dear. You need to go back. You need to talk to him. You need to remember WHO you are"

"I can't give him children Mama" Kasha said, just above a whisper.

"Dear girl, you know he knows that. And you know, that the heir doesn't need to be blood. You also know that Eamon is a stuffed shirt bullheaded traditionalist that needs to start thinking beyond the Theirin blood. In fact, he needs to return to Redcliffe and handle his Arling, and leave you two alone!" Eleanor snorted.

"Careful love, the battlemaiden is coming out" Chuckled Bryce.

"Hush Bryce" She smiled back

"Pup, go back. Do what must be done, live, be who you are meant to be. Know that we love you, and we all are very proud. You have one more door you must enter, then you must leave this place."

Kasha cried out, begging them to stay, tears streaming down her face as the disappeared into the mists of the fade. The door appeared before her, as she watched her family leave her again.

* * *

Wynne opened her eyes, and confirmed Kasha was in the fade, and was unwilling to leave.

"She has to do this on her own, the most we can do is wait." the old mage announced, as the rest of the group rode up outside.

"Although, I think we can push things along a bit" Wynne grinned, a familiar twinkle in her eyes.

"Sten, Shayle, get to setting these tables upright, and move Kasha up to that upper seating area. Velanna, build a fire in the hearth here, while I get some supplies from the wagons" She commanded. Pleased to see everyone jump to their tasks.

Wynne stepped out to greet the group. Alistair rushed forward to ask how Kasha was, worry etching new lines in his face. "She's fine Alistair, just stubborn. But I have a plan, if everyone will listen for a moment."

The group fell quiet, and gathered around.

"We are going to do nothing...Alistair, let me finish! We are going to go inside that Inn, we are going to eat, and talk, and relax. She has to come out of this on her own, but maybe if she can hear us, we can tempt her into doing it sooner just by letting her know we are all there, and enjoying ourselves." Wynne explained.

"I don't see how thinking we're enjoying ourselves without her is going to help, Wynne" Alistair objected.

"HA! Sodding right it will. That girl never could stand to be left out of the fun, How many times did you or I have a fight well in hand, only for Commander Crazypants to leap on top of the Sodding dragon's head? Or go climbing up an Ogre's chest? " Hollered Oghren

"Alright, you may have a point.." Conceded Alistair.

"Come along, let's see if this plan works" Smiled Wynne as the group followed her into the inn.


End file.
